This is going to be quick since I have a list of things to do before I lose the rest of my evening and all of my night to the Bermuda Triangle/Wormhole/Time Suck that is my current place of employment.
I was thinking today about anger. The phrase "Don't make me angry, you won't like me when I'm angry" often runs through my mind. I think it's funny and it usually gets a laugh when used in the right situation. I'm pretty sure it's from The Incredible Hulk, although I'm not sure if it's an exact quote. The point is, this phrase that I find so hilarious is from a movie (and a comic book, I know) about a man who turns into a monster when he gets angry. His anger so overtakes him that he loses himself and hurts people he would never want to hurt. The character's monster is huge and green with bulging veins, a roaring mouth and a significantly reduced vocabulary.
I can turn into a monster when I'm angry too. I'm pretty sure mine is more red in color and more like a tornado than a giant. I've been so mad before that my vision becomes blurred. The thing is, it actually feels good to let go and be mad like that. Of course, if I allow myself to totally lose control, I'm always ashamed and embarrassed once I've cooled down. It always seems to me that no matter now much I feel like someone deserved it or how righteously angry I am, I should always be in control of myself. You can never un-say something and it doesn't matter how many times you apologize or how you make amends. There are wounds that don't heal and they can be caused with words.
On the flip side is the pain that people suffer when they are afraid to get angry. I know people that never really allow themselves to get mad. Expressing one's anger in a healthy way can be very beneficial...(yeah, references? forget it.) I've learned through experience that unexpressed anger can turn inward and cause me to tear myself apart (psychically, not literally. that would be gross.) Sometimes all it takes for me is a good run or to throw and break something (not throw something at a person, I'm talking about breaking a plate in a controlled environment) to work out the angry energy so that I can think rationally again.
In a heated argument, I have been the one that completely loses control and I have also been the one that maintains control and watches as my opponent goes crazy. I can tell you which I always prefer--there's nothing quite as satisfying as watching someone you are really mad at get angry at you for staying so cool. Getting satisfaction out of another's misery is probably not totally psychologically healthy, but in the white hot heat of a serious argument, it beats doing something you'd regret. And hey, I'm not an expert and I never said I was the picture of mental health.
What about you? How do you keep your monster in check?
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